Humans need reminding for every little thing--items needing fixing around the house, putting up the toilet seat after doing one's business (for guys, at least), the preciousness of certain people in our lives... What I didn't realize was how I'd been chasing the ghost of my passion for a while now, to the point of not caring at all about the beginning of the new school year. Dread and/or irrepressible excitement, I would welcome with open arms, but indifference?

Between looking up tips for urban composting and thinking up a birthday treat for Mum, I somehow got to looking for new wallpapers since David Archuleta's had his turn for a while now. And this is what I found (a few of my favorites):

"The Storybook Wolf" by Jose Luis Rodriguez

[One of this picture's comments is about how it reflects man's relationship with the wolf throughout history. This guy's got wicked stuff. Check out his Flickr photostream: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jlrodriguez/]

Jim Bradenburg, National Geographic (May 1987)

[So desolate, severe. Survival at the extreme. Arctic wolves rule.]

Michael Nichols, National Geographic (December 1997)

[Maybe it's the tigers but this picture is so oriental. The tones are beautiful.]

David Doubilet, National Geographic (March 1987)

[Australian sea lions. Makes you think it's unfair that they get to live in a world like this the way we never can.]

Ben Osborne, Wildlife Photographer of the Year 2007

[African bull elephant, a la Jackson Pollock.]

"Boto Water Polo" by Kevin Schafer

(Fellow Canadian) Paul Nicklen, "Animals in their Environment" category winner, WPY '07

[Narwals coming up to breathe and trying not to hit each other with their tusks. You immediately notice the heartbreaking thinness of the ice; I later found that the photographer was trying to highlight that very thing.]

Diving into my studies during my first year at UBC gave me little reason to look back at things like these--the inspirations. Documentaries and pictures and poems and prose... gateways to the large and small scale processes in this magnificent, blessed world that I (at the moment) couldn't see, couldn't fathom. I guess part of me was scared that if I did look back, there'd be disappointment in knowing I jumped in for the allure of the art, and not considering the science.

But then one of the more delightful things I learned during our 11-day Michigan stay was that old feelings never return the same, therefore any and all efforts to flag them down--as you once remembered them--when they're lost... get you lost. I certainly didn't know back then that loving nature came with all these little requirements from your life and mentality that aren't as pretty (e.g. composting, constant re-washing of Ziploc bags, etc.). Yes, I might've simply wanted to be a wildlife photographer all my life, wanted to experience what they did, recreate what I saw, and never asked for all the other things. But didn't I still see something then that was worth saving?

The only difference between now and then is that I have the means to do it, and I have no fear now that I'd ever lose my passion for this. It's never going to be the same as it once was, but that's the beauty of it.

Michigan is another story to tell, but I'll get there. I can't even get started on whom to thank for what I learned, much less know where to begin on what I learned. From the experience, I'm loathe to use terms like "refreshed" or "rejuvinated".

I'm "reminded". As an old, faulty mind that's learned other things since then.