I could leave the... meaningful events of my birthday shrouded in mystery.

But I'm not Superwoman. So here goes.

My birthday this year? Two words: E-WAN.

So to save the rest of you from the nasty horrors of a terrible celebration, I would like to play what I dub as the Birthday Watch - giving you only the best advice you need.

1.   First off: do not, by any means, wake up after 9 am under the ruthless glare of the morning sun filtering through the window. It so does not compare to laying out on the beach.

2.   Second: take a bath IMMEDIATELY and shut off all sounds from the outside in the likely case your mother nags you to go to work without even greeting you "Happy Birthday."

3.   C: refuse PROFUSELY (!!!) to attend your ballet class scheduled for that day, no matter how important it is to practice for your upcoming practical exam. And ESPECIALLY if breakfast had passed you by because you woke up late and had to dress up quickly to leave. Very important. If you manage to ignore all aforementioned, you will regret it so much the moment you black out and come to, after which you'd have to dance some more.

* tip: let's say the improbable occurence that you have ballet practice on your birthday really does happen, convince your parents to drop by KFC and buy lunch for your whole class. Then eat like you've never eaten before.

4.   Next: Again, do NOT, by any circumstances, let your parents drag you all the way to their office, where you agreed long ago to do your summer job (which you'd put off for the longest time). By getting yourself stuck there, you will suffer extended bouts of boredom and anxiety, restlessness and endless writing down records of sales. Does that sound fun? I guessed not.

5.   Almost done: after WORK, whine to your parents about your stomache's craving for Thai food until their ears bleed. And then another important matter: clear out all details of their plans for the night, coz you'll never know if they intended to bring your brother to a soiree ON YOUR BIRTHDAY, eat out, and then wait for your hormone-driven little brother to finish his soiree before going home.

* tip: it's the best feeling to be in Market! Market! on your special day. The shopping there is fiiiiiine. And a select few of the bands are not half bad. Oh, and Thai Iced Tea is the best. Never try Thai Iced Coffee.

6.   And like I said.

NEVER,

EVER,

let your parents talk you into waiting for your brother to finish his soiree after eating your fabulously exquisite birthday dinner. Because, dammit, your parents will wait indeed. INSIDE THE SOIREE ROOM ITSELF. I mean, even I had the decency to be nice to my brother sometimes. It's embarrasing. More so for me coz I pretty much blended in with the GRADE SIX ASSUMPTION GIRLS soireeing with my brother and his batch. GRADE SIX. I've pretty much gotten over the fact that they were so young, but to see them towering over me like some freaky college girls...

Okay. I'm exaggerating. But frack (got that from Veronica Mars), that was the final straw. Seeing 12-year-old girls in their tall splendor compared to my awkward, 17-year-old frame... that was enough. The Lord was taunting me. "Ha ha, sleep early!" He said.

No, not really. Scratch that, small people are rock stars.   

6.   And last, but certainly not the least:

Remember never to have the hiccups at the end of the day. Now that threw me off.

I hope you all realize I gave these instructions under the influence of my own experiences.

In other words: every weird/sucky example of how not to celebrate your birthday mentioned in this entry happened to me. I just narrated the MEANINGFUL events of my birthday.

*bow*

~~~~~

A few of my dearest friends slept over at the filthy pig style I call my home, we manicured, pedicured, watched Music and Lyrics and Grey's Anatomy, and crashed Eastwood, running amuck in the Power Station, where I suckily found out that I could've gotten two hundred pesos had I been at the Power Station three days before or after my birthday!!!

Of course I begged the cashier lady to reconsider. After all, it had only been four days. One day after the offer, dammit. But she didn't bite. 

So there's another tip for all of you. 

Then getting home, we woke the whole neighborhood up by biking/scooting/fooling around on the streets, getting bitten by ravenous mosquitous all the while. That sort of stuff.

Then we popped some popcorn (?? - tanong ni Dianne yan), and watched the gory glory of leonidas and his friends in 300. Then slept at four in the morning in the attic.

We woke up at around 11 and had breakfast, then played cards until one by one they were picked up by their folks. 

All in all, I think we had fun.

Thank you:

Rej and Dianne - for the Coffee Crumble cake which is absolutelymyfavoriteflavor!!

Therese - for the bracelet and the porcelain figure. Pang holy week na talaga hahaha 

Cathy and Bea - for the "I Wish I Were Still In Bed" pillow (I sleep beside it every night)

Donna - for the LOVELY earrings

Lisa - FOR THE MRS. FIELDS. I was fed for daaaays.

And thank you *****, *****, and ****** for not coming!!!!!!

Joke lang. I love you all and a gazillion thanksss! Especially to those who didn't forget about the day I came into the world and made their lives...

a living hell. Nyaha.